Self help [Personal thoughts]

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Sometimes it can be hard to think straight. Sometimes running away is a valid option. Everywhere we go we bring our heart and our head with us. No getting away from those. Sometimes we are eaten alive with anxiety. Functioning outwardly like a pro, crumbling like a bamboo hut under a tsunami inside.
Dread is not something I'd ever dreamt about experiencing as an adult. Isn't dread spent on kid's night-terrors? Or poverty. Or warzones? Unfortunately not. Sometimes you 'cope' real well and sometimes you've coped so well, so long, so bravely, that it has to stop. Anxiety comes and goes too. Rifles your thoughts like a fox going through your garbage can at 2 A.M.
Talking to someone helps. A counsellor is good. Often someone going through the same no-man's land as yourself is better. They'll get where you are. I guess more than anything I'm saying that its not like the old days. Back when I smiled the smile of an innocent kid, there was anxiety and dark, dark days. And there was silence. Silence around anything that couldn't be quantified. Silence around the unknown. And that silence was ignorance. Not anymore.
Work causes anxiety. Drink causes it too. Or family, or relationships, or youth, or money, or jealousy, or society, or isolation, or malevolent individuals that have no idea what effect they are having. Mistakes cause anxiety. Or decisions you'd rather were not taken. Or journeys you'd wished you'd undertaken. Out the door? Out of town? Out of someone's life? A need to get out.
Yep, we could all do with helping ourselves by picking an orange off a tree in Alicante and just holding it. Or feeling the sun on our faces. Or settling into a comfy seat for an evening. Or just standing at the back door watching bats flit by in the twilight. And sometimes five minutes can do it. You know you can buy the mindfulness book. The magazine. The App. Or you could just have a cup of tea and breathe in the steam from the brew and thank God or yourself that you are there to do just that. Breathe.
Me? When the demons are out and about and I want to panic and escape, I ride my bike. Or I listen to a little bit of Trance and try so hard to write a blog that I hope someone with my thoughts and worries will read. If it empties your head for a couple of minutes then I'm the happiest for you. Talk soon.

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